The Nerd Quadrilateral Variety Show
by PPP SSC
Summary: Harold, Cody, Noah, and Beth start a variety show by nerds, for nerds. But will their bad acting, bad chemisty, and bad luck prevail over their vision? Light one-sided Noah/Cody, Cody/Gwen, and Beth/cast mates. Rated T for Beth's dirty mind.
1. Act 1: Bad Blood, etc

The Nerd Quadrilateral Variety Show

Three former Gophers and one former Bass had put their heads together to create a variety show, performed by nerds, for nerds. Some of the negotiations were more pleasant than others. Harold was the original show runner, and he told Cody to come join the show. He was more than happy to join, but he wanted to make sure that Noah signed on too. Harold had no problem with this, but Noah did.

"I don't want to be on another show with Harold; he'll hog all the screen time and will never shut up," Noah said.

"I will," Harold said, "Probably."

"Come on," Cody said, "It'll be fun!"

Somehow Noah could not say no to Cody. "Okay," Noah said, and then he signed on.

Beth was the easiest of all to negotiate with—she would get to be on a show with _three _cute geeks, and no other girls! She _had _to say yes to the offer. Though early in development, Harold and Cody had pondered letting Courtney join the show, she had adamantly refused the offer to "humiliate herself" some more by being on a show with them—before they even brought it up to her.

"It's okay," Harold said, "We don't need that _Duncan-lover _anyway."

"Yeah," the Gopher geeks responded in unison.

Harold's vision was that the shows would come with a basic formula; there would be several short sketches, as well as the following recurring segments: Harold performing a nerdcore song, Noah reading a poem, Cody dancing, and Beth doing a trick.

The pilot revealed the opening, which included among other things, calculus problems, quotations from Romantic and Victorian poets, Greek, Arabic, and Japanese letters, and algorithms for chemistry, floating in a background of changing colors—first purple, then red, then green, then yellow, then blue—along with the title, "**THE NERD QUADRILATERAL VARIETY SHOW **starring **BETH, CODY, HAROLD, **and **NOAH".**

The scene went to a curtain, in front of which Harold was standing. He said, to the general direction of the audience, "Hello, and welcome to the Nerd Quadrilateral Variety Show. I'm Harold. You might remember me from such reality shows as Total Drama Island. Well, today, my fellow nerds and I are bringing you an entirely different kind of show that actually does not insult your intelligence!"

The audience applauded. Harold smirked, although that was not scripted. He almost got so distracted he forgot what he was doing, but luckily managed to say, "Enjoy the show." He walked off-screen while the curtain was pulled up.

It was dark, almost too dark to see. If one looked hard enough, he could just barely see Cody's chin and mouth, where he could possibly pick out tiny fangs. He was covered in a dark hoodie, with his hood down over his forehead, casting shadows on his eyes. He was sitting on the sidewalk.

"I will never live it down," Cody said, "What if Gwen finds out what happened to me."

A flashback was shown. Cody was walking down the street when he suddenly got ambushed by Noah in a vampire costume—ridiculous showy cape, fangs that looked almost too big for him to carry, a _ludicrous _black wig, and so much white makeup he looked like a mime—and screamed.

Noah, in an over-the-top faux-Romanian accent said, "I will suck your blood."

"Oh, my god!" Cody shouted, "Not my blood!" He then started to run away, but it was too late. Noah had Cody pinned to the ground—or, he would have if Cody wasn't actually struggling before Noah touched him—and then "bit" him on the neck—although two audience members (Izzy and Trent) believed it was an actual hickey.

The flashback ended, and Cody was sitting down, when Beth, dressed in a pseudo-believable Gwen costume that might have worked if she wasn't wearing glasses or of a ridiculously dissimilar build. She said to Cody, "Hey Cody, nice costume!"

Cody then said, under his breath, "I wish it were a costume," prompting Beth to give him a weird look.

"What?" she asked.

"Oh, nothing…" he responded, and walked away. He sighed. "Gwen would never love me if she knew I was a vampire… at least not one like this."

The curtain came down. Harold took the center stage once again. "Wasn't that swell, people? Now, here's a song that I like to call Simpson's Paradox."

"This should prove interesting," Noah said sarcastically.

"Don't get impressed by the numbers," Harold rapped, "Because sometimes numbers lie. When the basic count is lower, sometimes percentages are high. I can give you an example, with a not-so-random sample, but the people I fought ample; in Total Drama Action, my team got but a fraction, but when I got to World Tour, my last team had gotten much more; the difference in percentages is around forty-five but the numbers were the same; six is the number on each team that continued in the game. And one who is in the know always chalks it up to Simpson's Paradox."

"Woo-hoo!" Noah shouted, "Sing us another! We're dying to be condescended upon. Also, those of us who didn't already know about Simpson's Paradox _totally _got your song."

"GOSH!" Harold shouted, "I had an entire other verse planned, but you know what, you're ruining everything! Fine! If you don't let me sing Simpson's Paradox, then I'm going to start the next sketch. You know the _Studies Show _sketch."

"Please don't make me do that one," Noah pleaded, "Cody wrote it as a _joke."_

"Noah, you were being immature during my nerdcore song, so now we have to do the Studies Show sketch," Harold said.

Noah grumbled, but grudgingly accepted.

The two of them stormed off stage only to reappear behind the curtain once it was lifted. Noah was reading a book, and Harold was on a computer. The background was minimalistic, containing nothing but a white box for the computer to sit on, a brown box for Noah to sit on, and a blue wall.

Harold turned to Noah and asked, "Did you know that studies show that being born last in a long line of siblings makes you shorter?"

Noah rolled his eyes, and said, "Tell me something I _don't _know." He continued reading his book, while Harold continued to be on the computer.

Then he turned to Noah again, and asked, "Did you know that studies show that being born last in a long line of siblings makes you dumber?"

Noah looked up at Harold and said in a _very _snide manner, "Yeah! Right!" He then turned back to his book, when Harold went back to the computer.

After about ten seconds he gasped, and then he turned to Noah again. He asked, "Did you know that studies show that being born last in a long line of brothers makes you gay?"

Noah, looking very helpless and awkward at this point, stutters out, "Y-you shut up."

The audience laughed. This caused Noah to hide his face and walk off stage indignantly. "That's the last time I'll ever interrupt Harold's song," he muttered under his breath.

"Well, I guess it's time for a word from our sponsors!" Harold said, and then walked offstage. He talked to Cody. "I don't know what's wrong with Noah. It was all scripted. No one thinks it's real."

"Um, yeah," Cody said, "If you look at the script I wrote for it, it says that he's supposed to tell you to shut up, but it says nothing about embellishing it with embarrassment. Considering how much he hated doing that skit, I'd say he'd be willing to phone it in, so we can't chalk it up to being an excellent actor—that embarrassment was genuine. And believe me, I can sympathize." He glanced away from Harold slightly, "That's why I didn't want you to actually put it in the show."

"He started it!" Harold insisted, "This was supposed to be a scripted show. You know, something _entirely different _from the shows we were on earlier! But _no, _Statler over there can't go through _anything _without _heckling _it."

"No offense intended, Fozzie Bear," Noah said, reappearing, "But you do realize that our viewers are supposed to be nerds that don't need to be _taught _everything. Also, Statler needs a Waldorf to function, and I can heckle on my own accord!"

"Guys, please quit fighting," Cody said, "You _do _realize that by alluding to the Muppet Show, you guys are alluding to a _variety show with heckling that worked?"_

Noah said, "Hey, _I _never questioned that it worked."

Harold sighed. Then Cody asked, "Hey, where's Beth?"

Where was Beth, indeed? She had locked herself in the greenroom and she was fantasizing about having a romantic relationship with all of her cast mates _at the same time._ It made her so distracted she forgot about the show.

Noah went to search the west side, while Cody searched the east, and Harold searched the north. Whoever finished first was to search the south if Beth was not found. Unfortunately, it was at this moment that the first commercial break ended.


	2. Act 2: Poker and PermaDeath

When the three returned to the stage, without Beth, Cody noticed something unpleasant. "Uh, Harold?" Cody asked, looking to the box above the camera, which read **ON AIR.**

"What? Did you find Beth?" Harold asked.

"No," Cody responded, "But look!" He pointed to the box.

Harold screamed and then he said, "Oh, sorry about that. Hello and welcome back to the Nerd Quadrilateral Variety Show, where I assure you that everything is fine and nothing is ruined. Also, we don't have any danger of becoming a Nerd Triangle instead."

"Hey, Harold!" Noah shouted, "Sarcasm: You're doing it wrong."

"Gosh, Noah! I wasn't being _sarcastic!" _Harold shouted back.

"Oh, so you were lying to our audience? How professional," Noah remarked.

"He's sadly mistaken… I'm not lying _or _being sarcastic; everything I said was one hundred percent true!"

Noah was about to comment, but Harold covered his mouth and asked, "Isn't it about time for the next sketch?"

Cody whispered in his general direction, "No go! This skit prominently contains Beth!" During this exchange Noah escaped Harold's grasp

"Well, think of something!" Harold shouted. He turned to the audience and said, "I assure you: everything is fine. There is nothing to worry about."

"Except for the fact that Beth went missing!" Noah added. "And there is no way you guys couldn't tell that from watching the next sk—." Harold cut his sentence short by holding Noah's mouth again.

"Like I said, time for the next sketch!" Harold said uneasily, as the three of them walked offstage.

The curtain came up to reveal the guys sitting around a card table, playing poker.

"I bet a dollar," Harold said.

"I raise the bet to two dollars," Cody said.

"I raise the bet to twenty dollars," Noah said, making a really over-the-top bright-eyed grinning face.

"I fold," Harold said, putting his cards down.

"I do too," Cody said, doing the same thing with his.

Noah revealed his hand. "Haha! I won with a pair of twos! You guys just got _played!"_

"Hey, no fair!" Harold said, "I… knew you were bluffing. My hand was just terrible is all."

"Um, excuse me," Cody said, "I have to go to the restroom."

"What are you doing?" Noah whispered, "This wasn't in the script!"

"Improvising!" Cody responded, and then he walked offstage. A minute later he came back, wearing an outfit that looked like Beth's. In a ridiculous falsetto, he said, "Hey boys! Whatcha doing? Playing poker?"

"Yes, we're… playing… poker," Harold said, trying to stifle his laughter. "Want to… join?"

"Oh, yes!" Cody said in the ridiculous falsetto, "I've always been really good at poker." Then he looked helplessly at Noah and whispered, "Cover for me?"

"When you say it, it sounds like praise; when I say it, it's just bragging!" Noah responded in a hushed tone.

"Come on! Help a guy out here!" Cody whispered.

"Alright fine," Noah whispered. Then, in a normal tone he said, "I don't know, Beth. I'm a _pretty _convincing bluffer and you'll never know when I'm going to bluff."

"That's okay," Cody responded in the falsetto, "I'm good at poker!"

He sat down at the table with Noah and Harold, and then he said, "Aw, man!" in his falsetto.

"I bet thirty dollars," Harold said.

"I match your bet," Noah said.

"I bet five hundred dollars!" Cody shouted in a falsetto.

"But Cody, I mean, Beth! We don't even have that much to play with!" Harold responded.

"Well I do!" Cody said in his falsetto, taking out a large sack with a dollar sign written on it.

"Oh, crap," Harold said, "I guess I have to fold."

"I do too," Noah grumbled.

"Thank you!" Cody said in his falsetto and walked offstage.

He came back a minute later wearing his normal clothes. "Did I miss anything?"

"Nothing too terrible," Harold said, staring blankly at the audience. The curtain came down.

Harold said, "Okay, that skit took… twice as long as it was supposed to. So we're going to make up for it by trimming Noah's poetry and skipping straight to the next one."

"_You _got to do _your _solo show," Noah said.

"No, you interrupted it," Harold pointed out.

"Which you _already punished me for!" _Noah responded. "Remember the _Studies Show _skit?"

"Guys, fighting on camera is _not _adding anything to our already dwindling time," Cody said, "Just let Noah read his poem, okay? If you don't like it, you can heckle it."

"Alright," Harold grudgingly agreed.

Noah sat on a stool, holding a notebook. He read from it, "Oh, wouldn't you enjoy a game to play; in which the units die forever more? If it is what the makers well intend, it might make playing such a game a shock. But if you are a genius as I am, then possibly you'll see a challenge there. Keep everyone alive until the end, one slip up and you're toast so try as hard as humanly and worldly possible to make sure no one is a casualty…"

"This isn't a poem; it's just an advertisement for Fire Emblem!" Harold shouted.

"Hey, I never said its name; if anyone's advertising it, it's you! If you don't like me writing poems inspired by video games, you should at least let me heckle you for writing rap songs inspired by statistical concepts, which, by the way, _are either extremely condescending or impossible to understand!"_

"Please quit fighting," Cody said.

Suddenly, Noah's phone started to ring. He answered it, "Hello?" After a brief conversation, he turned to Harold and said, "Nintendo of America wants to sponsor us."

"Well, let's let them! Our current sponsors leave a lot to be desired…" Harold said. Among other things they contained: a drug store in Saskatchewan, an independent convenience store in Bridal Falls, and a random family restaurant in Anjou: all of which were shown throughout the entire country.

"Speaking of sponsors, it's time for another commercial break!" Cody announced.

"Okay, now we really need to go find Beth!" Harold shouted. Just at that moment, Beth arrived.

"Hey, guys!" she said grinning, "Do you need me?"

"Where were you during act two?" Harold scolded, "Our poker skit ran ridiculously long because _Cody _had to play for _two!"_ Then he pointed to Cody and Noah, "And since these two _lovebirds insisted _on letting Noah read a _glorified strategy game advertisement, _we don't have time to do the _Bird Call_ skit!"

"Oh, man," Beth said, "But that's my favorite one!"

"Well we could always cut out Beth's trick instead…" Noah suggested.

"You don't get a say in this!" Harold said, madly.

"If it wasn't for my poem we'd still have only sparse, isolated stores as sponsors!" Noah responded.

"Oy, _vey," _Cody shouted. "Why are you guys fighting so much? We're supposed to stick together!"

"You're right," Noah said, "I'm sorry."

"You should be!" Harold said indignantly.

"Harold…" Cody said impatiently.

"I'm sorry too," Harold said.

"Apology accepted," Noah responded, "Now, I think that it would be a great idea to roll Beth's trick over the end credits; after all, they're pretty boring right now."

"Yeah, a compromise!" Beth said, "That way, I can keep my trick and the _Bird Calls _skit! But at the same time, I risk fewer people seeing my trick because I went missing."

"I still think Noah's being unfair…" Harold grumbled.

"I don't," Noah retorted.

Cody screamed in annoyance and stormed off, saying, "I don't know what to do with you guys anymore!"

"Uh-oh," Beth said, "I guess we better go find Cody…"

Just at that moment, the commercial break was ending. Noah looked at the sign that said **ON AIR in 15 seconds. **"Perfect," he said sarcastically.

"This was all _your_ fault!" Harold shouted.

"_My _fault? I remember apologizing first, actually _accepting _your apology, and _shutting up! _You know, something you simply _cannot do! _Forget it; I'm going to look for Cody. See how well you keep this show going by yourself!" As Noah stormed off, the commercial break finished ending, and Harold was left alone in the middle of the stage.


	3. Act 3: Bird Calls, Dance, Tea Party

Author's Note: For those not familiar with "A Really Cool Dance Song," it is a satire of dance music, hype, and record executives' inability to recognize such satires.

"Uh, yeah, hi, guys," Harold said awkwardly, "There is nothing to worry about. And we can go ahead with the material we planned…" He tapped his foot, and then he faced the audience and said, "I'll be right back."

The stage was left empty for a few minutes, until all of the cast members returned together. Harold was visibly huffing and puffing, and then he said, "Without further ado, the _Bird Calls _skit."

The curtain was raised. Cody and Beth were standing in front of a blue background with clouds painted on. There was also a small link of a white picket fence, and what appeared to be a telephone pole. Cody was holding a pair of binoculars. "Hey, Cody, what are you doing?" Beth asked.

"I'm bird watching," Cody responded, "It's very interesting."

"You know," Beth responded, "I'm very good at bird calls."

"Like what?" Cody asked, looking as curious as possible.

"Like this one," Beth said, "A ratta tatta patta moolatta greenblat redblot eekock peacock!"

"That's not any bird call I've ever heard!" Cody shouted. Suddenly, Harold, dressed in a ridiculous beak, and very showy green feathers swooped down in front of them.

"Kukaluka!" Harold screamed, pointing his face upwards.

"What is _that _bird?" Cody asked, "I never saw any bird like that."

"Why that is a ratta tatta patta moolatta greenblat redblot eekock peacock!" Beth said, "Isn't he adorable?"

"Kukaluka!" Harold screamed again.

"Well, yeah, but what did you say it was: a ratta tatta patta greenblat redblot eekock peacock?" Cody asked.

"No!" Beth responded as if Cody's question was really dumb. "I said it was a ratta tatta patta moolatta greenblat redblot eekock peacock."

"What's the difference?" Cody asked, shrugging. Suddenly Noah appeared on screen dressed in a tiny black beak and velvety-looking red wings, and swooped in front of them.

"Kakalaka!" he screamed, turning his head to the side.

"Kukaluka!" Harold screamed back, and then they began pecking each other.

Beth pointed to Noah and said, "_That's _a ratta tatta patta greenblat redblot eekock peacock. They're bitter enemies with the ratta tatta patta moolatta greenblat redblot eekock peacocks!"

"Oh," Cody said, hitting his forehead, "Of _course. _Why didn't I know?"

The curtain came down.

"Wasn't that great, guys?" Harold asked the audience. The audience did not respond, although Tyler attempted to cheer. Harold tugged at his collar slightly. "Without further ado, Cody dancing!"

Cody went out on stage. He was nervous. After the poor reception to the _Bird Calls _skit, he was certain that his dance would go twice as badly. Noah picked up on this, and was about to head out to the stage to give him moral support, when Harold grabbed him by the hem of his sweater vest.

"Oh no you don't!" Harold said, "You've heckled enough for one day."

"I wasn't going to heckle Cody!" Noah shouted, offended. "In fact, I was going to give him _encouragement."_

"Right," Harold said.

"Can I give Cody encouragement?" Beth asked, grinning.

"Of course!" Harold told her. She squealed with glee and headed out to the stage.

"Yeah, because that empty gesture will _totally _help him more than the _praise of a harsh critic!" _Noah complained. He struggled to escape Harold, and told him, "You've been awfully grabby today."

On the stage, Beth was cheering, "Go, Cody! You can do it!"

Cody was still visibly nervous. Noah, still having trouble escaping Harold, shouted at the top of his lungs, "You're a damn good dancer!"

Cody heard this, and then he smiled. He began to dance, when he realized there was no music playing. He whispered in Harold's general direction, "Where's my music?"

"Oh," Harold said, and then he turned on the music. The song was "A Really Cool Dance Song" by Bowling for Soup. The irony was intentional on the part of the cast members, and it was not lost on such audience members as Gwen and Izzy, but went completely over the heads of Justin and Heather.

Cody did a variety of dance moves that varied from boy band choreography to break-dancing. Beth watched in awe, clasping her hands together and grinning. Noah watched similarly in awe, but was not as obvious about being impressed. The audience cheered when he finished, and he smiled. He walked off stage, and said, "Thank you."

"Admit it," Noah said to Harold, "_I _averted this crisis."

"I admit nothing," Harold said.

"Now it's time for our last sketch of the show," Cody said, "_The Tea Party!"_

He walked offstage, and the curtain was raised. Harold was standing around holding a teapot, while Noah, Beth, and Cody sat around a table with teacups on it, acting as immobile as possible. Beth had a large pink bow, Noah was dressed like a dinosaur, and Cody was dressed like a bear. "Would you like a spot of tea, Mr. Wuzzles?" Harold asked in the general direction of Cody.

"What do you think, Sherlock?" Cody responded.

"Ack!" Harold said, "You're talking! But… you're a doll!"

"Well, he's certainly more delightful than you," Noah added.

"Hey!" Harold said, "You're toys! How are you talking?"

Beth responded, "And you're a grown man! Why are you playing tea party with dolls anyway?"

Harold walked off screen stage right, whereas Noah, Cody, and Beth walked off stage left.

Harold returned, holding a phone. He said into the phone, "Hello, I think I need a shrink."

Cody in a bushy gray mustache, notably on a different background, said in a faux-German accent into another phone, "Very interesting."

"Come on!" Harold shouted into the phone, "This is important! My toys are talking to me!"

"Have you tried… taking the batteries out?" Cody continued in his faux-German accent.

"No, you don't understand… I think they're _sapient!" _Harold murmured into the phone.

"I don't have time for this," Cody said, continuing his faux-German accent. He then hung up the phone, and exited stage left.

Harold sighed. "Shrinks; only available when you don't want them!" he closed. The curtain came down and the audience applauded.

"Well, that's almost all the time we have for today!" Cody shouted, "But tune in during the end credits to see Beth perform a trick!"

The audience applauded some more.

"Hey guys," Cody said, "You didn't fight throughout the entire third act!"

"Well," Noah said, "To be honest, Harold _did _start a fight with me."

"He did?" Cody asked, "When?"

"When I wanted to give you encouragement," Noah said.

"Oh, yeah," Cody said, shuffling his feet, "Thanks about that."

"Don't… don't mention it," Noah said, and then he turned away.

"Guys!" Harold shouted, "I think we may have recovered during the third act! I was so terrified it was going to be an even bigger flop than the first two!"

"Well, you know what, _it wasn't!" _Beth shouted excitedly.

"Okay, to ensure that it stays that way, no one disappear in the next minute!" Harold requested. No one did, however Beth pointed out that only she had something left to do.


	4. Closing Credits: Bowl Trick, Cancelled

"Now for our last feat of the day, Beth will perform her trick of the week!" Harold said. The credits began to roll as the scene's lighting was adjusted so she was under a spotlight. She pulled out a baton, and started twirling it around. Then she put a bowl, lip up, on top of it, and spun it around. It continued to spin.

"Want me to add some more?" Beth asked the audience. The audience cheered. She put another, larger bowl, lip up, on top of the first bowl, and spun it around. It continued to spin, until the very end of the credits when the bowls both fell down and broke. Beth looked sheepish, grinning awkwardly, and putting her hand behind her head. The audience laughed, and then headed out of the building in two single-file lines.

"Alright!" Harold said, "We made it through! Now, who wants to go out for lite lattes?"

"We do!" Cody shouted enthusiastically.

They were about to head out the door, when they ran into a man with sunglasses and a goatee. He was dressed in a business suit. He said, "Harold, baby, just the man I wanted to see!"

"Really?" Harold asked excitedly. This enthusiasm only caused the man to sigh remorsefully. Harold frowned. "What?" he asked.

"You see, your show isn't doing a whole lot for our ratings," the man said, "So we're going to have to cancel it."

Harold stood aghast. His eyes widened, and his jaw dropped. He stood completely speechless and motionless for three minutes. Then, he sputtered out, "C-c-cancel us?"

"Yes. Too many people were flipping channels during the first two acts. I think most of the people who even watched the third were sitting in this very room." the man said. Then, completely unsympathetically, he said, "Sorry." He walked out of the room. Harold put his face in his hands.

"Harold…" Noah began, but Harold turned around and glared at him.

"This is all _your fault!" _Harold shouted.

"_My fault?" _Noah responded, "I _can't believe _you're still holding a grudge about me _heckling _you. What about when _Beth _ran off for an _entire act?_"

"Oh, yeah, sorry about that…" Beth said sheepishly.

"Don't play the blame game, guys!" Cody said, attempting to break up the fight between his friends. "You were so good in the third act."

"Yeah, but that's only because _you _were performing, and you're _Noah's favorite," _Harold said, "If it was me he would have been just as bad as in act one and two." When Harold referred to Cody as Noah's favorite, Noah turned his face away from Cody.

"Look Harold, I still stand by that my heckling was justified! You were assuming that viewers were morons! What was our philosophy again? Oh, yeah, _by nerds for nerds!" _Noah retorted, "Besides, _you_ did your fair share of heckling _me _too!"

"You mean when you were reading that 'poem'? That 'poem' that was _so_ much more entertaining than my nerdcore song?" Harold responded, "I feel _that _heckling was justified."

"And notice I didn't ever bring it up again until just now," Noah mentioned.

"GUYS!" Cody shouted, "_Please stop fighting!"_

"Maybe I will if he does," Harold said. "After all, this show would still be on the air if it wasn't for _him."_

"Fine," Noah said, "I will. I'm done. I'm done dealing with you! You're being ridiculously immature about this." Noah walked out of the room. Cody looked alarmed. It was simply not like Noah to walk away from an argument until he had won.

"I'm going to go follow him," Cody said. He did. He found Noah sitting down, looking slightly morose. "Hey," he asked, sitting next to Noah, "What's the matter?"

"Okay, Cody," Noah said, "I'll give it to you straight. I didn't want to sign onto this show at first, because I didn't feel like working with Harold, but you know… all this writing, and all this acting with you… I loved it. This show became my brainchild. And… you know, Harold doesn't get it. He doesn't understand why I heckled him."

Cody turned to Noah and said, "You guys both feel that way, you know. You both have visions for the show. They just happen to be incompatible. But both are valid in their own ways. Harold wants to cater to those who love to learn. You want to cater to those who don't need to be taught. Need I remind you, Noah, that sometimes these are the same people at different stages in life, or even from subject to subject?"

"I… I guess not," Noah said, "But why does that even matter now? The show got _cancelled! _It's over!"

"Don't give up hope," Cody said, smiling.

Noah asked, completely seriously, "Why not?" He knew Cody would be able to come up with an answer.

"It doesn't happen often, but it does happen. Sometimes the draw for a show keeps it from ending. I mean, Star Trek, for example," Cody said, trying to motivate Noah.

"You're comparing _this _poorly done piece of dribble to something as _groundbreaking _as Star Trek?" Noah asked incredulously.

"Well, not comparing, per se; just saying that it is possible for it to be saved," Cody responded.

"Yeah, right…" Noah said pessimistically. "There's about as much chance of this show being saved as there is of a supernova engulfing us in the next three minutes. No… actually, that's a lot more likely. It would take a _miracle _to save this show."

"A miracle… or…" Cody said, scratching his chin contemplatively. "A very well staged protest."

"A staged protest?" Noah asked flatly, "Really? _That's _your master plan?"

"It'll work!" Cody said, smiling, "Trust me."

"Okay," Noah said, "I trust you."

"Great!" Cody said. Then he and Noah returned to their bespectacled colleagues. Cody told Harold, "Great news! We're going to save the show!"

"We are?" Harold asked, "And Noah's on board with this?"

"Of course I am," Noah said, "This show is primarily written by me, after all."

"That's just because you don't want to do my sketches," Harold said, crossing his arms.

"I never said that!" Noah responded, "I just meant I've written 30 sketches already, and it would be a shame to waste them all. You've written… seven. Cody wrote eight if we include _Studies Show—_which was definitely and always will be a joke—and Beth… well, she wrote one."

"And we can do it next week if we save the show, right?" Beth asked.

"Yeah," Cody said, "That's why we have to. Not just for us. Not just for the fans. For the ability to get our intellectual property out! But don't worry, guys, I have a plan!"

Cody ran off to commence his plan.

"That Cody's one hell of a trouper," Noah said, impressed.

"You gotta hand it to him," Harold said, "He sure can get people out of some tight jams."


	5. The Protest

Cody ran into just the person he wanted to see. This would not normally have been true, but it was considering the circumstances. "Sierra?" he asked.

She looked to him, and then she asked, "What do you need, Cody?" She suddenly hugged him and said, "I really want to _thank you _for letting me be in the _studio audience. _It made me feel… oh, so in _love…" _Then she put him down, and smiled, waiting for a response.

"Sierra," Cody said, sighing, "I hate to tell you this, but that might have been the only time you'll ever be able to sit there."

"Wha-what?" she asked, looking aghast. "Did I behave _that _poorly?"

"It's not you, Sierra," Cody said, assuring her, although he was bracing himself in case she overreacted to that remark. "The show was cancelled."

"WHAT? The show was _cancelled! _Well, those execs wouldn't know quality programming if it came and bit their heads off!" Sierra shouted, and it appeared as though her nose was letting out smoke. Cody was visibly intimidated at this moment. She stormed off and found a box that contained cardboard and pens. She rummaged through it, picking up a piece of cardboard, and then she wrote on it, "BRING BACK N4".

She headed to the doors of the network studio building, and waved her sign in the air, shouting, "Down with the network! Bring back N4! Bring back N4!"

Looking down on the lone young woman, screaming unintelligible nonsense—as far as they could tell—one of the executives told a security guard to take her away. He obliged, but when he reached her he was immediately intimidated by the fact that she dwarfed him. He ran upstairs and told the executive that she was taller than she looked from the third floor.

A news broadcast was shown about the Crazy Amazon who went to attack the poor unsuspecting studio. "Oh, great," Cody said, "Sierra's on the news."

"Well how about that?" Harold asked. "She really is trying to get our show back on the air."

"But how is she going to do that all by herself?" Beth asked.

"She's not," Cody remarked, and then he made an aside glance. Noah smiled at him.

A crowd that contained the majority of the studio audience began to form around Sierra. "Uh, Sierra?" Izzy asked. She jumped in front of Sierra and waved her hand in her face. "Yoo-hoo! Sierra!"

"Not now, Izzy!" Sierra said angrily.

"What?" Izzy asked.

"I have to get the Nerd Quadrilateral Variety Show back on the air!" Sierra said, continuing to raise her sign.

"Wait," Izzy said, "The Nerd Quadrilateral Variety Show got cancelled? Well that just _will not do! _Right, Owen?"

"Right!" Owen responded.

"Right, Eva?" she asked again, turning to her muscle-bound friend.

"_Take 'em down," _she responded forcefully.

Izzy said, "I'll be right back," and leaped away. When she came back she was carrying three signs. One said, "Nerds Rule Networks Drool." One said "Take the 'idiot' back out of 'idiot box'." The final one said, "Noah Don't Go." Izzy handed the first to Owen, and the third to Eva, and kept the second to herself.

"Bring back N4!" Sierra chanted, and pretty soon Izzy, Owen, and Eva had joined the chant.

"Heh," Noah said, looking at the news report, "Would you look at that? The freak brigade came to defend my honor."

"Well of course they did," Cody said, "And that's just the beginning."

Tyler jumped up and asked Izzy if she could get him a picket sign. She said, "Sure!" and dashed off. When she came back, she had gotten three picket signs. Tyler picked up the one that read, "Geeks We Love You."

He turned to LeShawna and said, "You should probably join this protest too."

"Of course I will!" LeShawna said, "Your picket sign is absolutely right." She picked up another sign that said, "Harold Deserves Better." Soon, LeShawna and Tyler had also joined the chant of, "Bring back N4".

Harold looked at the screen, and tears started welling in his eyes. "They really _care _about me!"

"Well of course they do!" Cody responded. Beth looked forlorn.

"What's the matter, Beth?" Harold asked.

"No one's protesting because of _me…" _she said sheepishly.

At that moment, Lindsay joined the protest, and picked up a sign that said "My IQ is high enough for two. I love this show!" Noah and Harold snickered at this, and then both looked shocked when they realized the other was doing it too. Beth had a different reaction.

She clasped her hands together and she said, "Lindsay's defending the show for _my sake." _Then she swooned.

"Um, Les Yay much?" Harold asked in the general direction of Beth.

"Just ignore it," Noah responded in deadpan.

"This is really working! I didn't even expect all the people who joined the protest to join…" Cody said.

"Hey," Noah said, "You're… you're awesome."

"Thank you," Cody said, "That really means a lot coming from you."

"You guys can kiss later," Harold said, "Right now, we have more important matters to deal with. Will the show be saved or won't it?"

Trent and Justin left the crowd, and joined in the protest, although they had no picket signs. Each pumped his right fist in the air and chanted, "Drama Brothers stick together to the bitter end!" repeatedly.

Harold looked at Cody and said, "Yeah! I _told _you that would be more than just résumé padding!"

"I never doubted that," Cody said, "In fact, as I recall, _you _said it was just résumé padding."

DJ joined the chant as well. "Unfair cancellation!" he shouted, "Unfair cancellation!"

"Of course," Noah said, "He came to defend all of us because he's just that nice."

Then, something happened that caused Cody to fall over backwards. Gwen got up and joined the protest too. "Bring back N4; Cody worked hard on that show!" she shouted.

"Congratulations, Romeo," Noah said, "You're starting to win her over."

"I am?" Cody asked. Then, he got up excitedly and said, "I am, aren't I?"

"Don't get your hopes up. My tone was mildly in jest," Noah said.

"Of course it was," Cody said, slightly disappointedly, "My bad."

"You've already won _someone _over," Harold said under his breath.

"What?" Cody asked.

"Nothing, never mind," Harold said.

Bridgette and Geoff joined in. Bridgette shouted, "Bring back N4!"

Geoff shouted, "Yeah, you party poopers!" Courtney had up until this point been completely still. She turned to look at Duncan, and then at the protestors, and then she stood up too. "Bring back N4!" she yelled.

Harold gasped. Cody gasped. Beth gasped. Noah asked, "What?" flatly.

"I guess Courtney realized that ideology was more important than relationships," Cody said.

"Courtney?" Noah asked, "Please. She's just doing it because all the other nice people are, and she doesn't want to look bad."

"Bring back N4!" Courtney shouted, and then she tossed her shoe at the building. Suddenly, it wasn't only these people that used to be on the show with them, but several dozen others joined in protest. Many of them were Noah's relatives. There were also about six who weren't.

"Would you look at that?" Noah asked, crossing his arms smugly, "The bountiful tree has come to save the day."

"Bring back N4!" the crowd continued to protest.

Suddenly, the anchor said, "And now, a Muskoka cat got caught in a tree today. That is our top story!"

"What? No! No, no, no!" Harold, Noah, Cody, and Beth all screamed.

"Go back to the story that concerns us!" Harold shouted.

"Yeah," Noah said, "It's the only way we'll know for sure our plan didn't fail."

"The only way we'll know for sure our plan _didn't _fail?" Cody asked. "Don't you mean the only way we'll know for sure _it did?_

"Um…" Noah stammered.

"It's okay, really!" Cody said, laughing, "I'm just teasing, you know."

"Guys! This is serious! No time for jokes, and Cody, I'd appreciate it if you didn't _encourage _Noah to heckle," Harold shouted.

"But…" Cody began, "He just isn't Noah if he isn't critical." Noah turned his head away, embarrassed.

"But I still don't know if the show was saved or not," Harold said.

The man in the sunglasses with the goatee came back. He looked frazzled and had his tie on weird. He was visibly sweating. Harold was on edge when he turned to him. "What's the word?" he asked.

He began, "Well, it turns out that the ratings were a little misleading. And some of your friends are downright scary. And Noah has more relatives than a queen bee. And they always brag about his abilities and hold them against me."

"Psh," Noah said, flicking his wrist, "Only the immediate ones."

"Anyway, long story short, you guys have your show back," he said.

All four of the nerds cheered. "But, listen carefully, because I'm only going to say this once: please stop losing people during the show."

"I'm sorry," Beth said, "I'll try to stay put until after the show."

"So, losing people was the _only _problem?" Noah asked.

"The only one that we caught," the man said. "Why? What else went wrong?" Noah wore a proud smile.

"Don't even say it…" Harold said.

"I. Told. You. So," he said, without a hint of remorse on his face.

"Argh! I told you not to say it!" Harold said.

"Guys, do you have to fight all the time?" Cody asked hesitantly.

"Well, now that I have evidence that I was right and Harold was wrong—I told you so, by the way, Harold—I don't see any reason why we shouldn't. As long as it's all in good fun, of course."

"Of course," Harold grumbled.

The show was set to air the same time next week, and of course, the gang talked to the studio audience before the show.

Cody told Sierra, "That was amazing! I knew I could count on you."

"Really?" Sierra asked, and then got a creepy smile. Cody made a nervous face and ran. Sierra pouted.

"Thanks for helping me out of a jam, guys!" Noah said to Izzy, Owen, and Eva.

"Don't mention it! I gotta help my girlfriends out," Izzy said. "Just kidding!"

"But seriously, I know how it feels to be cheated out of stuff," Eva said, "And this show… is something you really want to do."

"You guys rock!" Owen said.

Harold thanked Tyler and LeShawna. "No problem," Tyler said, "You guys are all pretty cool, after all."

"Yeah," LeShawna said, "And you love what you do. That matters more than anything."

Beth hugged Lindsay for her help.

"Gwen…" Cody said, shuffling his feet, "Umm… about the protest…"

Gwen said, "Cody, listen, I know you like me. I might not feel that way about you, but that doesn't mean I don't care if your show ends too soon. You were doing a great thing. Plus, if you have more of those vampire skits, I might just fall in love..." Cody looked _unhealthily _excited. "…with this show."

He looked disappointed for a brief moment. Then he said, "That's really great! I don't know about vampires but Harold wrote a pretty good one about zombies! Maybe we'll use it today!"

"I'd like that," Gwen said.

Courtney walked in sheepishly. "Aha!" Harold said, pointing at her. "You joined the protest. You like the show."

"I don't!" she denied. Then, almost immediately, she relented, "Oh, okay, I do. I really do. There aren't enough shows out there for smart people."

"It's okay, Courtney," Beth said, "You're one of us."

"You're right," she said, "I am one of you. I don't suppose that you could let me join after all?" she asked sheepishly.

"We'll think about it. We already have more than three dozen skits in our queue that don't contain you, and we'd need to find room for you to perform a solo," Harold said. Then he had an idea. "But… _but _if this show makes it to a second season, you'll be in season two!"

"I'd like that," Courtney responded, smiling. Courtney was smart enough to know a bad deal when she saw it, so this gave Harold confidence. There was a very likely possibility there would be a season two.


	6. Episode 2: Getting Back on That Horse

The opening was showed again. Harold came out on stage and he said, "Hello, and welcome to this week's episode of the Nerd Quadrilateral Variety Show. That's right; we narrowly escaped cancellation, but I promise that nothing will go wrong."

"I can vouch for him. He's not lying this time," Noah said, "Although who knows? Anything could happen."

"And that's why we've been working so hard on our Luck Machine," Cody said.

"What's a Luck Machine?" Beth asked.

Cody pulled out a vintage microwave with googly eyes on its dials. "_This_ is a Luck Machine!"

"Cody," Noah said flatly, "That's a microwave."

"Not just any microwave!" Cody shouted, "A microwave that makes me feel… LUCKY!" Cody turned the bottom dial to one minute, and then turned the bottom switch to HIGH.

"This microwave's as old as my aunt," Noah commented. "And it still works!"

"Or does it?" Harold asked suspiciously. A ding was heard.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so lucky!" Cody shouted. He opened the microwave and pulled out a grilled cheese sandwich. "Oh, look what I found in here! A grilled cheese sandwich." He ate the sandwich. "Mmm! The Luck Machine really works." Cody winked.

"Shouldn't we be getting to our next sketch?" Beth asked, "You know, _Zombie Apo-Calypso?"_

"Of course!" Cody said.

The curtain was lowered as the "Luck Machine" was pulled away. Tyler was impressed by how smoothly the skit was woven into the intro. Izzy… well, she didn't realize it was even staged. "I want to try that luck machine sometime!" she shouted.

The curtain was raised again to show Noah standing in the middle of the stage. Cody, Harold, and Beth, all covered in green makeup, looking like they were decaying, approached him and grunted. "Eeek!" Noah shrieked girlishly, "Zombies!"

Beth, Cody, and Harold approached him at great speeds. Then, he looked as though he had just had an insight—brightened eyes, raised index finger—and he pulled a radio out from behind his back. He turned on the music. It was a groovy steel drum beat. Beth, Cody, and Harold began dancing. Noah said, "First line of survival in times like this: calypso music. It can't ever go wrong." Then, he joined the "zombies" in their dancing. Gwen stood up and cheered.

Harold took center stage, and, at one hundred and eighty words a minute, rattled off, "This skit is merely making an incredibly lame pun and should not be used for reference in any situation that actual zombies attack. If you are attacked by zombies, playing music will in most likelihood not slow them down. Side effects of being attacked by zombies include gangrene, leprosy, psychosis, loss of identity, amnesia, craniovorism, death, liking noise music, death, light cough, bulimia, anemia, appendicitis, dementia, craniovorism combined with amnesia, death, death, death, and having to marry Chris McLean." Everyone who could understand what he was saying laughed. Then, five seconds later, he added, "Did I mention death?"

They took their bows. The curtain was lowered. Harold and Noah took the stage once more.

"Now it's time for Harold's nerdcore song of the day!" Noah said, "With me as your heckler."

"Well," Harold said, "I don't think you'll _need _to heckle me for this one."

"Oh, really?" Noah asked.

"Yeah, really," Harold said, "It's called _IQ Test." _He began rapping, "Yo, people noticed I was smart; they noticed my IQ was off the charts, and then I knew just what to say: what is an IQ anyway? An end-all be-all ID card? What if I didn't try as hard? A test to prove my massive skill; tempting to say; it is a thrill. But at the end of the day, what does it mean? Just some random numbers on the screen."

"How did you… how did you…" Noah said, looking surprised. "Plagiarist…"

"Okay, you're right," Harold said, "You caught me. That was Noah's poem of the day… with a 'yo' added to the beginning of it, and a drumbeat. But… there's a very good reason I did that!"

"Okay," Noah said, "What was it?"

"Because I want _you _to do my nerdcore song," Harold said.

"Are you kidding me? I can't rap!" Noah said. He said the statement very firmly; no doubt in his mind.

"Then don't," Harold said, "I'm sure as a poem you'd read it fine."

"Alright," Noah said, "I'll do it. It seems innocuous enough. No egregious lessons here. I mean, unless you count the part about 'an element or two', but you didn't list the elements or anything."

"I know," Harold said, "Our viewers aren't morons."

"But right now, it's time for our first commercial break," Beth said, "Tune in for act two to see Noah performing Harold's nerdcore song as a poem, Cody's dance, and the very first skit written by me: _The Flower."_

When the commercial break ended, Noah took the stage. He read from a notebook that was clearly a different color than the one he had the last episode. "This ahem… 'poem'… is called _Water Works. _I stood near the water fountain, looking to the nearby mountain, thinking about springs and how they give our world its life. In fact it may seem simple that our little earthly dimples can fill with liquid that can end all strife. But sometimes it might slip our minds that water is one of many kinds. An element or two could make a danger, yes it's true, but it's fascinating how they can form something so great. In fact, I'll get a drink, right after we make you think; I'd get a taco too, but sadly I just ate." Everyone was thrilled, except Noah who was still rather confused.

"Okay, Harold," Noah said, "Can you please tell me _why _we had to switch jobs?"

"It's a symbol of our truce," Harold said, "We cannot heckle each other with malicious intent. Only to entertain the viewers."

"Fine by me," Noah said.

Cody danced again. This time he was dancing to Don't Dance, a song produced by comedy troupe Olde English Comedy. Again, this song was chosen for ironic purposes, and again, not everyone noticed. He was confident in his dancing abilities this time so nothing went wrong—and no one died.

"That was great, Cody!" Beth said, "Now it's time for _The Flower!"_

The curtain was raised, to show Beth skipping through a field. She picked a flower. "Oh my gosh," she said, "My boyfriend's gonna love this flower."

Cody dressed in a bumblebee costume appeared on the scene. "No!" Beth shouted, "Not a bee!" Cody followed Beth around the stage.

Then, Noah dressed like a Rottweiler appeared on the scene. "No!" Beth shouted, "Not a bee and a dog!" Cody and Noah both followed Beth around the stage.

Then, Harold dressed like a rhinoceros appeared on the scene. "No!" Beth shouted, "Not a bee, a dog, and a RHINOCEROS!" Cody, Noah, and Harold all followed Beth around. Then, she fell down next to a sign that read, "Public property. Don't pick flowers." She said, sounding very exasperated, "Oh…"

The curtain came down.

"Alright," Cody said, "We only have one act left. In our final act, we will be able to see two more original Noah creations, _Crab and Foil, _and _The Dumb Trumpeter, _along with Beth doing some flame-throwing."

"Well, _Crab and Foil _is a parody, actually," Noah corrected.

"Okay, one original creation and one parody, then," Cody amended. "Now it's time for commercials."

The commercial break ended. When the curtain was raised again, it showed Cody in a Hogwarts uniform and a blond wig. He was holding something wrapped in tin foil. "Hmm…" he said, "I better keep an eye on this. If an adult catches me…"

Noah arrived on the screen, again wearing a ridiculous amount of white makeup, but this time he was wearing a conservative black robe: he did not look nearly as over the top. He said, very plainly, "What have you got there?"

"Nothing!" Cody assured, "Nothing, professor!"

"May I see it?" Noah asked.

"NO! I mean… I don't see why it would interest you…" Cody said, hiding the object.

Noah started playing tug-of-war with Cody over the object. "Give me that! Give me that! Give me that!" he shouted. The object fell out of their hands. It was revealed that there was a crab in the piece of foil.

"Crab… and _foil?" _Noah asked. He then slowly turned to Cody, looking suspicious.

"I didn't do it!" Cody shrieked, and ran away. "It was him!" He pointed to Harold, who had a lightning bolt scar painted on his face.

"Of course it was," Noah responded, although it seemed like it was _very _hard for him to not come off sarcastically, _especially _while continuing his monotone.

"Lie to a teacher who has a bad relationship with another student! You'll never get caught!" Cody said, walking off screen.

Harold took the stage again and said, "Warning: Doing so may actually result in getting caught."

The curtain lowered. It raised again as the audience applauded—except for Heather, who was confused as heck by the skit. This time, Beth and Cody were sitting on the sidewalk. Harold walked by playing a trumpet _very _badly. It sounded like he was trying to play "Taps", but ended up playing something closer to losing horns.

"Umm…" Beth said, "Excuse me? Trumpet player?"

Harold completely ignored Beth. He continued to play something that sounded _almost _like a transposed version of the Star Trek theme, but was ridiculously interrupted by accidentals far too often.

"Pardon me?" Cody said, "Trumpet player, we're kind of trying to enjoy the view here."

"I'm not blocking anything," Harold responded, and then he continued to play the trumpet. Beth and Cody covered their ears. Noah, dressed like a gray and white cat, ran for his life across the stage.

"Come on, trumpet player!" Cody said, "You're even frightening the animals."

"Am I?" Harold asked, and then he continued to play his trumpet.

Beth decided that there was only one thing to do. She shoved her notebook into the horn. Then, when Harold tried to play it, there was only a bit of subdued noise coming out of it. He pouted. Beth and Cody cheered. The curtain was lowered.

"That's almost all the time we have for the day," Harold said, "But here's Beth doing some flame throwing."

Beth set the stage with a fire extinguisher just in case something went wrong. She said, "People in the studio audience, move back a row." They obliged. She began to throw flames across the stage.

Lindsay asked Tyler, "Like, how does she do that?"

Tyler made the I-have-no-clue face and then said, "Well, don't ask me."

"I call this one the flame flower!" Beth said. Then she threw the flames in a circle around the area in front of her. "Now, who wants to see me jump through it?"

Everyone cheered, except Lindsay, who was _very _nervous. Beth jumped through the circle of flames, completely unscathed—or so she thought. Harold pointed out that her pants were on fire. "Really?" Beth asked, "No problem! That's why I have my trusty fire extinguisher."

"Hey Beth, have you been lying?" Noah teased, "Can I expect to see your nose's length grow exponentially?"

"Maybe… next time!" she said cheerily, "On the Nerd Quadrilateral Variety Show!" She said this while putting out the fire on her pants.


	7. Epilogue: Subsequent Seasons

The group was all very proud at the way the show turned out this time. Everyone was present and accounted for the whole time; Noah and Harold had a truce; Cody was confident. They were about to go out for deli sandwiches and soda pops, when they ran into the man with the sunglasses and the goatee again. "Oh, great," Harold said, "We got cancelled again, didn't we?"

"No," the man with the sunglasses and the goatee responded, "That couldn't be further from the truth. Your show _skyrocketed _in terms of ratings. In fact…" He made an aside glance. "…You guys are beating the incumbent hit."

"We… we… we are?" Harold asked, and his jaw dropped.

"Yes!" the man responded. He grinned. "You guys are our new cash cow franchise. I don't suppose we could ask you to sign a merchandise deal?"

"Well, I would have moral problems with things that are heavy on labor-sympathetic politics, anything relating to birth control, new school mandates, or anti-gay rights campaigns" Noah responded, "But if none of these things are involved, I'd be happy to sign."

"Of course," Harold said, "If it is anti-labor politics, I would also refuse to sign."

"Don't worry," the man said, "It's just a merchandise deal. No political agenda here, except to make money. CHA-CHING!"

"What kinds of things are we talking about?" Beth asked.

"Oh, just key chains, lunchboxes, T-shirts, play-sets, DVDs, soundtrack CD's, and a McDonalds endorsement," the man said.

"Well," Cody said, "Sounds good to me!"

So, they signed the merchandising deal. Sierra went out of her way to collect every last one of the items on the merchandising list, including the McDonalds toys, which caused her to waste several cardboard boxes. One thing she would always proudly wear is a shirt that said, "By nerds, for nerds" on the front and "N4VS" on the back.

Of course, it wasn't very long before her shirt was outdated. Courtney was added to the cast in August of the following year, and they started working on the second season: The Nerd _Pentagon _Variety Show. It was very similar to the first season, except that Courtney was in many of the skits, and every episode she would sing a song. She quickly became the audience favorite of those who didn't watch the show before, causing an even greater influx in the ratings.

Sierra went out and bought a new shirt then. It still said, "By nerds, for nerds" on the front, but now it said "N_5_VS" on the back.

Cody had an idea. Since they were going to have to change the name of the show anyway, they might as well make it traditional to add a new cast member every year, at least for a while. They were signed on for a third season almost as soon as the second one started. He sent an email to Sierra. It read,

"To our biggest fan,

We still think it's great that you saved our show. And we want to give you the deal of a lifetime. We would like you to join our cast the third season.

Your _**friend,**_(_nothing _more)

Cody."

Sierra shrieked and fell out of her chair before she even saw the signature. She responded:

"YES, YES, YES, OMG OF COURSE!"

Sierra joined the cast, in season three, and Harold asked her what kind of solo she wanted. She said, calmly, "I don't need a solo." Then on the brink of tears, she added, "It's just such an honor to work with you guys."

"But Sierra!" Cody said, "_All _fulltime cast members get a solo."

"Okay," Sierra said, "My solo will be… giving away vital information about Cody!"

"Er, umm…" Cody said, "On second thought, we don't actually _need _you to have a solo." He pressed his fingers together. He expected Sierra to be mad, but she wasn't.

The show went on for six seasons, when it finally lost in the ratings game to _The Boring Guy on a Horse Show." _The creators were not bitter. They were in fact relieved that they could finally stop.


End file.
